Upward Mobility

I just want to preface this saying I had a super busy weekend and haven’t made it all the way through the book so this is just my analysis based off the first half.

The upward mobility theme in Almost a Woman shows the complicated dynamics that are operating between Santiago’s two identities. Her Puerto Rican side feels ashamed at her desire to become something larger and break out of the ‘lower class’ she has always been a part of and yet her new American side knows she wants these things.

When Santiago decides she wants to attend Performing Arts School her family is initially not very supportive, her mother doesn’t see the point when she could go to a Vocational school and get a good job. Her mother warms up to the idea buying her an audition outfit and supporting her but all the while there is a lingering atmosphere of her mother thinking young Esmeralda is trying to go beyond her place. On page 57 Santiago says ‘When Mami accused me of wanting to go to school for blanquitos, she guessed that most of the people at Performing Arts would be white and, therefore, ricer than we were.’ Her mother is implying that she has changed and is becoming to ‘Americanized’ which Santiago interprets as a bad thing. Santiago feels guilty about her wants to better herself because her mother, an extension of her culture, sees this as a negative that she is forgetting her place where she came from and is succumbing to American ideals. Santaigo states ‘The implication that I was reaching higher than I ought to by going to Performing Arts stung. . .’(58) but that she couldn’t argue because it would only contribute more to this image of her ‘changing’ becoming more independent and talking back. What is obvious, however, is that even though Santiago is hurt by these implications she reveals that she does, in fact, want a different life for herself. She wants ‘[her] own bed in [her] own room’ and ‘books without a date due’ she wants ‘pretty clothes’ and ‘[her] own radio’ she knows she really does want these things and is ashamed of this fact but also resigned that she cannot change what she desires and her mother shouldn’t expect her to.

The conflicting feelings about her want to move upward manifest at school as well in both a positive and negative light. The group of girls Lulu, LuzMari, and Violeta taunt her when it becomes know she is auditioning for Performing arts asking ‘You think you’re better than us?’ and ‘Eli Whitney not good enough for you’ (37). This group contributes to Santiago’s sense that wanting to move up in the world is a negative thing, something for people who ‘think [their] white’ in other words who think they are better than everyone else. Though Santiago attempts to brush them off their words, along with her mother’s contribute to her guilty feelings. Now in contrast Santiago’s teacher Mr. Barone encourages her to apply for this school and keeps her motivated helping her out and spreading the word of her success when she gets in. He supports her dream to reach her full potential. It fills her with pride that someone believes in her and when he announces her acceptance over the loudspeaker she says ‘I was embarrassed and pleased at the same time’ (46). In this moment of achievement she may be embarrassed at the fuss made over her but her guilt is all but gone and she is filled with happiness.

Overall I think young Esmeralda is waging a battle between her ancestry and where she thinks she should be and the person she wants to be. I believe though, through all her wants for a more ‘American’ life she never loses her sense of home, she still wants to go back to Puerto Rico and still feels guilty about changing. She may still choose to go to the Performing School but she never loses sight of where she came from and all the people who are helping to make her who she is.