Parent/Child Reversal in Fun Home

The classic ‘coming of age’ story is common in many of the memoirs we are reading though each one is different. Bechdel’s story though was particularly unique much like aspects of her family. We get the usual ‘finding’ of oneself story but there is another arc that begins to become apparent around the end but that has been building since the beginning of the narrative. Instead of only finding herself Bechdel finds her place in the family she is a part of. Particularly she finds herself coming to both mirror and the overcome her parents thus becoming the parent herself.

Towards the end of the narrative we see Bechdel realizing her position has shifted from child to a type of parent. When her mother rants to her she comments ‘Shocking as all this was to hear, it was the first time my mother had spoken to me as another adult’ (217). Bechdel talks for the first time about her mother treating her as an equal and no longer a child but as someone whom she can share her life with. Not only is the mother treating her as an adult but she is treating her as a friend, someone who is a part of her life on a level she feels comfortable sharing her woes with. A similar and even more powerful awareness happens with her father after the talk about their sexuality. Bechdel asks ‘But which of us was the father? I had felt distinctly parental listening to his shamefaced recitation’ (221) and in this moment she feels the entire reversal of roles that has happened between herself and her father. She is no longer the one that needs protecting, she is the one who is more confident in her sexuality her father is the uncomfortable one who is never able to accept himself. Parents are expected to always be confident in themselves, to never seem vulnerable in this moment her father is entirely vulnerable to Bechdel creating the feeling that he is no longer the parent but the child opening up to Bechdel and looking for support. Throughout the narrative we never see Bechdel’s father confront his sexuality, there is an underlying current of him trying to come to grips or even overcome his attraction to men but it happens off screen and we never get to see if there are any results to these attempts. Bechdel, on the other hand, seems to work through her realizations and is able to accept her sexuality (albeit there was probably a lot more of a struggle beneath the surface of the narrative). The simple act of including Bechdel’s acceptance and not her father’s creates the narrative of a child becoming and overcoming a parent, seeing their flaws and actively trying to not have the same problems.

This reversal of the parent and child role is highlighted by the fact that the reader rarely sees Bechdel’s parents actually acting how parents are expected to act. We see snippets of happy moments with Bechdel’s father but they seem few and far between. If her parents never acted like parents in the first place then it is easier for the reversal narrative to happen. Bechdel doesn’t have to actually ‘parent’ anyone for her to become the parent instead of the child because her actual parents were never seen to ‘parent’ her. Overall it is an interesting type of ‘coming of age’ story that pins Bechdel in constant juxtaposition with her parents. Fighting against them, becoming their equals, and even (in some instances) overcoming them.

Smiles,

Haley